I first became interested in art when I was in elementary school. I started learning soon after, drawing little princesses, cats, and whatever else peaked my childhood attention. By the time I entered high school, I had taken art lessons for several years. The value of these lessons, though, has only become clear to me after this period of reflection. I found the controversy to lie in that drawing from reference can only take you so far. Yes, I was able to build up my technique, but where I succeeded in one area I lacked in another. After years and years of, I felt as if the childhood creativity I so possessed had been dimmed by reality. Art was no longer a source of happiness and expression, it was a chore. I felt like the art I made was merely meant to be shown off or impress others. Those picture-perfect pieces I created brought minimal fulfillment. This cognitive dissonance was a driving force behind why I chose to take AP art. AP art posed a necessary challenge- by forcing myself to step out of my comfort zone, I hoped to establish more creativity and individuality. 

     Throughout my year in AP Art, I struggled to meet deadlines. The oil paintings I once spent a month to finish had to be modified to keep up with the pace of finishing a piece every week or two. It was difficult to constantly propose unique, AP-worthy ideas when I had never been used to doing so in the past. But the thing is, art doesn’t have to be about meeting deadlines or producing profound social commentary. I’ve learned to stop worrying so much about not fulfilling others’ expectations, or creating “meaningless” work. At the end of the day, art is a form of expression like any other. I strive to create what I want, and what makes me happy- and that’s good enough for me.